Love Is Not All Smiles

“I hate you,” he said, narrowing his black eyes as if squirting venom.

I was wrecked physically, emotionally and psychologically, having the biggest quarrel of my life with him.

It had been an hour and he was livid. I was terrified. He glared at me from across the hall and blurted out, “I hate you. Look at your filthy face. I deserve much better than you.”

My heart stopped. I had given so much of myself into this relationship that I couldn’t believe it was all coming down for real. I was hard for me to make peace with reality. That it was indeed over.

It was a bad day and bad days come with remarkable learnings. I learned a crucial fact that day – the opposite of love does not hate, but indifference. I had loved him then and I was indifferent now.

We think of love as chirping birds, blooming flowers and everything nice. But there’s more to it. Just like how dark truths are camouflaged by happy faces, love too, is not all smiles.

Walking through love is like treading through a dark alley. No matter how beautiful the destination is, the path is uncertain and difficult. And if you want to make it till the end, you have to tackle everything that comes your way no matter what. Likewise, if you want to feel true love, you have to be brave enough to expose yourself to a variety of human emotions – not only joyful happy faces but sadness, neglect and disappointment too.

Love is not always care and kisses. It is breaking hearts and letting the bitter emotions seep in, just like how I was swallowing fireballs coming out from his mouth.

Only when you can hold through highly intense emotions, you become fearless. You can then taste true love and deal with stronger emotions emanating from your partner. Loving them comes easy then.

In the middle of this battle, I knew that this was the end and there was no turning back now.

He looked at me and I started crumbling down. He walked towards me, pushing me to the side of the door and left saying, “I hate you. Look your filthy face. I used you and you deserved that. Your face has become unattractive for me to have intimacy desire with you. I hate you,” on my face. I stood there numb.

Our Storyteller:

Ankit Kankar (INDIA)
…is a media professional currently working as a Product and Digital Communication Manager for MM ACTIV (Biospectrum Asia, Biospectrum India, and Nuffoods spectrum). Before that, he was associated with companies like Justdial and Pune weekly English newspaper.

Our Editor:

Kavya Mukhija (INDIA)

…Is a student of Psychology, a writer, a calligraphy artist, and a creative content creator. She loves traveling and exploring new places. Always dressed with a smile, she considers spreading happiness a good deed. Last and the least, she is a woman with a disability who believes that more than the disability, it is the negative perception towards ‘disability’ which is actually disabling.

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