When people talk of in-laws, they rarely talk of fathers-in-law who, by the virtue of their relationship, need to be talked about equally if not more than their female counterparts, the quintessential mothers-in-law!

However, fathers-in-law don’t get the same amount of discussion, neither in television serials nor in the usual drawing room gossips. Why, a father-in-law wonders!

For every single individual, fathers hold special places in the heart, and why not? They say that a mother carries children in her womb for nine months, but a father carries them in his mind forever.

Then why does it happen that the society fails to recognize the role that a father-in-law plays in one’s life and marriage, while we believe that in-laws are the parents we get later in life?

Today, let’s make it a point to introspect yourself, to identify the kind of father-in-law that you are, and to change, if need be, according to the changing needs of your family and kids.

Let’s be honest, if you are a father-in-law, you consider yourself to be lucky to be born a man, and thank your stars every day, and why not? After all, the level of stress that your wife carries because of your children’s spouses is better avoided, right?

Wrong!

Being a father-in-law is no less than being a father. After all, if you expect your kids’ spouses to make their lives happier, you have to start giving them, and the relationship you share, more time.

Let’s start with the relationship that you have with your daughter-in-law. While one doesn’t expect a woman of these times to have a foot-long ghunghat in front of her father-in-law, it won’t be wrong to say that there is a certain level of dignity and respect that this relationship commands. That being said, you don’t have to distance yourself from your bahurani or Daughter-in-law to maintain the decorum of this relationship. You might not be as close to her as her father, but then, what’s stopping you from trying?

Here are few things what you as a father-in-law can do to make a great family bonding:

  1. Talk to her about how her life is going and her future plans in case she is working.
  2. Praise the efforts she makes to be a part of the family. For example, don’t keep yourself limited to eating the food she lovingly cooks for you; take a moment to praise it as well.
  3. Accompany her to the market. While she loves these quick excursions by herself, it’s also true that your sweet company would only strengthen your bond.
  4. Bring her something while coming back from your official trips, or gift her and your son a little vacation, just like that!
  5. Give her freedom to catch up with her friends. Handle the kids, skip your evening tea for once if need be.
  6. Never stop her from meeting with her folks. In fact, you can go a step further and invite her family to your home sometime, so that she can be happy with both her old and new family.

In short, all you have to do is to treat her like your own daughter and the home would surely be a happier place to be.

While we gladly say that we have developed as a society, we still lack somewhere. There is some confusion, some inhibitions that continued but need to be decoded once and for all.

As the head of the family, your role can’t be undermined, and it’s always is a good idea to involve your daughter-in-law in your family decisions, so that she can also feel like a part of your family, just like your daughter. In short, you don’t have to share a formal relationship with your daughter-in-law. While she might be mature enough to leave the room if there is a steamy scene coming on the television, you too should understand this to give her a more loving environment in the house.

Cheers to a happier home!

Anonymous (INDIA)
The author of this article is a mommy and also a working professional. She likes to write about relationships and life in general.
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