There’s an oft-repeated advice Hindi film critics give their readers when reviewing the latest Bollywood release if this one is particularly abominable. They say, “Keep your brains at home to enjoy this one.” Fortunately, there was no one to give me this enlightenment when I saw Shah Rukh Khan’s comeback film ‘Pathaan’ this morning. Because, for my sins, I was compelled to watch an early show. It started at the uncivilized hour of 8 am. And watching it with me were several of Bollywood’s critics. All are eager to be the first ones out with a review. All yawning sleepily. All waiting for the film to end. Not that ‘Pathaan’ was dull. Or boring. It wasn’t. Far from that, ‘Pathaan’ is one round of long, non-stop action and highly entertaining VFX. It only lacks a convincing and credible story. But still, I thought, if I could accept Tom Cruise running down the Burj Khalifa in a ‘Mission Impossible’ movie, I should be sporting enough to give SRK the same suspension of belief and sense in ‘Pathaan’. So that’s what I did sit back and enjoy the film. The actor, back with his dimpled smile and dry, laconic humor, races off to the box office in this action vehicle that YRF designed exclusively for him to make a comeback to stardom. The film is his and his alone. It’s as if a producer with deep pockets gave the director carte blanche to go all out and fulfill his ambition to achieve cinematic glory with one film… provided he brought SRK back with an almighty bang.
And so there was Shah Rukh Khan unkempt and with dreadlocks, looking unlike any Pathan from that handsome ethnic tribe of rugged men of the North West Frontier Province, defying gravity, defying all conventions, to give Hollywood’s superheroes Ethan Hunt, Jason Bourne, and James Bond himself a run for their money. I didn’t understand the story beyond that SRK is out to save India from Pakistan and annihilation. Joining him in this so-called spy thriller are Deepika Padukone, oozing abundant sex appeal, looking more gorgeous and glamourous than any Hollywood actress, John Abraham as the baddie switching between being charming and menacing and failing at both, and Salman Khan borrowed from the ‘Tiger’ franchise, like sizzling TNT in every frame. There are car and bike chases, stunts involving choppers and planes and trains and buses, a jetpack race across snowy peaks, and hand and gun fights with henchmen who fall over like dead flies but which leave the hero (and heroine) still standing. All to save us from a virus-like chemical called Raktbeej exploding over Delhi. The locations where all this takes place are as exotic as they are stunning. But interestingly, I don’t recall a single scene shot anywhere in India. I could tell you more but don’t want to spoil your experience. Go enjoy the film. Don’t miss the end. And if you tell me you didn’t like ‘Pathaan’, I’ll buy your ticket if there is a sequel. Pay for your coke and popcorn in the interval, too.
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